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Rachel's Musings & Blog

Review: HBO Show Divorce

I just watched the first episode of HBO's Divorce. They got so much right. The humanity, pain and flaws in us all. The irritation we feel...

Negotiation in the Shadow of Threat

I had a call from Josh*, who wants me to be his reviewing attorney. He and his wife Becka* are working with another mediator. Josh and...

Relocation & Zero Sum Discussion

Sometimes I'm incredibly moved by this work. There's so much at stake, my client's entire world. One couple, the husband was a...

On the Same Side?

It's a challenge in many relationships, to communicate your needs in ways that doesn’t come across as slamming your partner. I see men...

Are There Winners & Losers?

I had a depressing mediation session recently. These types of sessions make me realize that mediation is an opportunity, but not everyone...

Six Things Your Litigator Doesn’t Want You To Know

Six Things Your Lawyer Doesn’t Want You To Know or Why You Should Mediate Your Divorce Children Your children will never thank you for...

The Draw of Conflict

To my mind, the costs of litigation and of fighting are so high, that I really can’t imagine deciding that I would rather fight than...

Protecting Children From Conflict & Self Blame

I was watching a movie the other night, Future Weather. A 13-year-old girl comes home from school and finds a note from her mother...

Mediation v. Litigation

I was called in for a court ordered mediation for a post-divorce couple, about to have a trial. The Mother requested a custody change....

Sensitivity & Pain

One of the most painful issues that I see among divorcing couples is the tendency to self blame to a fault. Meaning, person one says...