In litigation, each person hires a skilled attorney to present their case to a judge, who remains neutral and makes decisions from an outside perspective.

Unfortunately, overloaded courts often prevent judges from fully understanding the people behind the case, leaving many feeling unheard or frustrated.

Mediation gives you the chance to speak for yourself. No expert knows your life and family like you do. A mediator doesn’t make decisions for you but guides the conversation, ensures all voices are heard, and helps clarify information. If needed, additional professionals—like accountants, financial planners, or attorneys—can provide support so you feel confident making decisions.

The goal is to reduce miscommunication and help each person understand the other’s perspective. You don’t have to agree on everything, but mediation allows you to reach fair, informed solutions that work for your family, your possessions, and your future.

Yes. Mediation only works if both people can express themselves honestly. You need to feel comfortable sharing your needs and concerns in the same room. If you are unsure of what you truly want, that’s normal. A skilled mediator can guide you, offer options, and give you time to process your decisions. The goal is to create space where both parties can communicate openly and respectfully.

In situations involving domestic violence, traditional litigation is usually safer. Mediation requires open communication, which can be difficult if one person fears retaliation. However, if you believe mediation is still the right choice, safeguards can be added, such as:

• Written behavior agreements with strict consequences for violations
• The presence of an advocate, friend, or relative
• Separate mediation sessions for each party
• Phone or video sessions to avoid face-to-face meetings

Your safety is the top priority, and mediation is only an option if protective measures are in place.

Extreme emotional control or intimidation makes mediation ineffective. For example, one spouse/partner may become withdrawn or fearful when the other is present. Mediation requires honesty and balance. If one party cannot speak openly without fear, the process will not work. In those cases, litigation or counseling may be better alternatives.

Yes. Mediation requires full financial transparency. If you believe your spouse/partner may be hiding assets, mediation is not the right path. Attorneys and the court system are better equipped to uncover hidden property, income, or accounts. In successful mediation, both sides must disclose their finances honestly so the agreement can be fair.

Mediation is designed for couples who are ready to separate or divorce. If you and your spouse/partner are still deciding whether to stay together, it may be more effective to work with a couples therapist or marriage counselor before beginning mediation, or you may be interested in Mediation to Stay Married. 

One of the most common questions in family mediation is, “How can a mediator remain neutral when one of us is right and the other is wrong?” The answer is that the mediator is not a judge. Their role is to ensure both voices are heard and respected. You will never be forced to agree to something you don’t want. Instead, the mediator helps you better understand each other and find solutions that meet both of your needs. Neutrality is a powerful tool that creates balance and trust in the process.

In mediation you can still have an attorney who advises you, to make sure you know your legal rights.

If you prefer to have a lawyer by your side, Collaborative Law may be a good alternative. In this process, each spouse/partner has an attorney, but both attorneys agree not to take the case to court. Instead, they work with mediation-style negotiation to create win-win results. This can be appealing to couples who want legal guidance while still avoiding litigation.