Seven Guidelines for Sharing Custody of Children During the COVID19 Pandemic
Leaders from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) and AFCC have released guidelines for coparenting during the COVID-19 pandemic.
1. BE HEALTHY.
Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.
2. BE MINDFUL.
Continue reading “Co-Parenting During Covid-19”
A lot of parents don’t know how to navigate a conversation about their separation or divorce with their children. I want to share with you some rules and guidelines to use in your family.
What I have heard from clients about telling children about separating/divorce:
Continue reading “How To Talk to Your Children About Your Divorce”
Shifting our focus can help us resolve conflicts.
I met with a couple who used mediation for their divorce, about 14 years ago, and wanted to resolve a new conflict in their restructured family. The mother emailed me to tell me that they were having trouble figuring out the credit that the father should get for the child’s room and board expenses while he is in college.
Continue reading “Children’s Need Can Be Our Guide”
I am sometimes so moved by this work. There is so much at stake, and it means so much to my clients.
Today I met with a couple. The husband is a suited-up, successful professional, who cried, when thinking about the wife moving away to a different city, with their son.
Continue reading “Relocation and zero-sum discussion”
I had a depressing mediation session today. A session like today’s makes me realize that mediation is an opportunity. But everyone is not able to take that opportunity.
The center of this couple’s conflicts revolve around their children.
Most couples I see fight. But when I mention their kids, I get smiles, and proud stories of how well the children are doing – or stories about concerns for the children, and how to shield them from parental conflict – Continue reading “are there winners & losers?”
To my mind, the costs of litigation and of fighting are so high – that I really can’t imagine deciding that I would rather fight than settle. But I guess it mainly depends on how the conflict is framed – whether you feel that there is an important principle at stake.
If you’re going to fight about something having to do with the children, they will know that you are fighting in court, and they will know that one parent thinks the other is screwing them over (or both parents think the other is screwing them over) and they will feel pulled-apart and tormented and guilty, over being the subject of the parents’ conflict.
Continue reading “The Draw of Conflict”
I was watching a movie the other night, (Future Weather) in which a 13-year-old girl came home from school and found a note from her mother saying, “I went to California. I left $50 in the drawer for you, for groceries.”
The girl lived in the house for a few days by herself, until her grandmother discovered her living alone, so she moved to her grandmother’s home.
Continue reading “Protecting Children From Conflict & Self-Blame”