A distraught woman called me, saying that over the course of 4 months she and her fiancé had paid over $10,000 in attorney’s fees trying to negotiate a prenup. It had been stressful and agonizing and they ended up getting married without signing. Now, 3 months into their marriage, the unsigned prenup remained an issue and their attorneys couldn't find a way to agree.
The confluence of their fears and their lack of confidence merged to produce a situation where they felt frozen and unable to move forward. When the husband’s lawyer said, “You may as well have her waive her rights to your pension and her rights of inheritance”, the husband didn't know whether this was standard or unusual and didn’t find a way to say no to his lawyer, even though this wasn't his goal entering into the prenup.
I met with the couple in a mediation session and asked what had been their original goals. As we created a list, it became clear that they were quite aligned. Robert owned some properties with members of his family and wanted to keep them as separate property. Alicia felt this fair and was happy with that.
They asked me to use the prenup their attorneys had drafted and just edit it. I had to do a lot of deleting, taking out all the extraneous things that one attorney said was necessary to “protect” the client and the other attorney refused to accept. I ended up with a postnuptial agreement that met their original goals.
They came in again, we read it through, they made a couple of changes and signed it that night. They were both happy to find a way to resolve this matter smoothly, after a process which left them feeling frightened that their conflicts were intractable.
Another reason why I love the power of mediation.
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