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How Mediation Works
It is hard to imagine how this process will work when you have been embroiled in a conflict.
Most divorcing couples tend to fall into the same fights over and over again --
but that is why a neutral third person can help.
Mediation is a process used for resolving conflict. As your mediator,
I can help you move through the issues and find new ground for resolution.
I am neutral. I won't take sides with you against your spouse,
or with your spouse against you. Instead, I will work with you to increase your understanding
of each other and of your conflict. I will not make decisions for you -- only you will
decide what is best for your future.
Conflict is painful. Most people have a drive to resolve it. When people understand the
sources of conflict, there is a huge release of creative energy which leads to terrific
brainstorming sessions about how to solve the problem and end the conflict.
I begin work with people by identifying all of the unresolved issues. We have a detailed
checklist that we go through to identify where there is already agreement, and where we
need additional information and/or discussion. Each person gets to tell me his/her side of
the story, so that I can hear as much as possible about why you came to see me.
I give each person a pad of paper and a pen so that the other person can write down their
ideas without having to interrupt the speaker.
Once all the issues are on the table, we can begin to delve deeper into different points
to gain an increased understanding. When that understanding is there, problem solving begins.
As you and your spouse agree, I will begin to draft an Agreement reflecting your discussions.
Most of the couples with whom I work will then take the completed agreement to attorneys for
review. Some people, however, come to mediation because they want to avoid having multiple
third-party professionals involved in their divorce. During our sessions, we can discuss the
options, pros and cons, and the role that you and your spouse would like attorneys to have
in your divorce.
Finally, after the mediation process is completed and if appropriate, I can prepare the forms
for the court and file for your divorce.
If you don't believe that this process can work -- read some of the Mediation Stories.
Or watch this video. (firstwivesworld)
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